Thank you for calling the IRS

So someone broke into my house last Friday, and a book of checks was missing when I got home.

So I closed my checking account immediately and opened a new one yesterday. I’d forgotten about my IRS refund and stimulus payment, though, and of course the IRS has my old account number.

So I went online and typed in my information and got “We have received your tax return and it is being processed...” So I called the number for more information.

I used my cell phone. After 15 minutes on hold, I picked up my work phone thinking, “I bet Wachovia can have this handled – put a note on my old account to forward the IRS payments to my new account – before the IRS even answers the phone.

I was right. Other things I was able to do before the IRS answered the phone:

Eat a banana.
Write this post.

By the way, the IRS would like to remind you not to fall for phishing scams that ask you to enter your bank account number so you can get a stimulus payment via direct deposit.

Seriously, it'd be a good idea to call any family members who may not be wizards on the Internet and just make it clear to them: They should basically never give out any account numbers to anyone that emails them asking for this type of information.

No matter what they're promising.

UPDATE: Mark Green, a spokesman for the IRS, said they've set an all time record for number of calls received.