Over the years, a crack reporter like myself learns a few things that, for one reason or another, he just can't print.
That changes today. Because, to be a famous blogger, you have to say something controversial, and be first with news.
So, to start with, the Loch Ness monster lives in Lake Tobesofkee. If I was at all Internet savvy, I'd link you to the youtube video that proves it. Or possibly to wikipedia, the repository of all human knowledge.
Also - did you hear that Georgia quarterback Matt Stafford cavorts with Auburn girls in Talladega? Of course you did. It was on the Internet.
But I'm blowing the lid off of something much bigger today.
Georgia Head Coach Mark Richt is known to consort with a certain young lady from Tallahassee.
Also:
- Pizza dough is made largely of dead mouse.
- Sources say Fred Thompson, who may run for president as a Republican, is gay, or something else that bothers you.
- Reportedly, Gov. Sonny Perdue shot Aaron Burr. Apparently Burr made a passing mention of Oaky Woods to a reporter.
Abortion! Illegal immigrants! Paris Hilton!
And welcome to Lucid Idiocy, where after this post, everything will be true.
You know, pretty much.
2 comments:
IF you really wanted to share sensational news for the Macon area you could reveal the exact contents of the bright red Nu Way weiners. You could also reveal the exact recipe for Fincher's Barbecue sauce or the right amount of salt to boil peanuts like Satterfield's.
You could come forward with the truth that fried porkchops from the Bears Den and fried chicken from H&H are acutally good for you.
All of these things would be helpful information and would shock the conscience of most readers.
After seven years in Macon, two degrees and a wife I returned to my Appalachain home. However, a big part of my heart still yearns for Macon. I look forward to reading both parts of the blog.
Yours,
Jesse Vaughn
Lucid Idiocy's First Correction and/or Clarification & Tobesofkee Mush Monster Picture:
it's called the "Tobesofkee (tow bee sof(t) key)
Mush Monster." Tobesofkee means "Mush Creek" in Native American tongue. Indians used to grind cornmeal on the rocks 1/2 mile below the dang dam..
I grew up 1/2 mile below Tobesofkee Dam and this is the first ever pic of the "Tobesofkee Mush Monster," right after he/she/it blew a giant mountain of fire from his/her/it's Kazoo shaped orifice.
The smoke was all that was left but you can see the orifice 6.8 to 7 centimeters from the lower left side of the picture.
I don't know how to make it any clearer but if Ex Bibb County Commission Chair Tommy Olmstead wasn't getting paid 20k plus per year to stealth-taggedly promote Lake Tobesofkee, i'd be a lot more motivated to get this historic news out to the unmoivatable, bibb county, armchair, elected officials & apathetic, ignorant and fear filled masses in middle georgia usa.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/georgiaimproper/530051036/in/set-72157600310025300/
Victor, "Honorary Consul to the Great Beyond and half century most recently passed Past"
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